Longtail News #1/2007

	Jarl Jarl is the new chieftain in Trollhufsa. With his brilliant brain, he saved the village from a minor catastrophe, and was therefore chosen to be the new chieftain. Jarl is a scientific troll, and he also uses his magic in the name of science. He fetches light from the stars so that the other trolls can use it in lights and lamps. Learn more about how he saved Trollhufsa in the story The Comet at Klara's Story Place.
Karl and Julie Karl and Julie are like most other trolls in love. They look each other deep in the eyes, wander around holding hands and titter happily over the smallest of things. And in general it is impossible for those around them to make contact with them, since they are so in love that they only see each other. Julie’s longtail gives her the ability to create beautiful good-luck charms out of rainbow rays, while Karl has a completely incomprehensible form of magic in his tail: he can make others sneeze.
	Frans Frans is not exactly the most careful of trolls. Since he got a skateboard from his father a year ago, Frans has been forced to take responsibility for a number of breakneck episodes. Among these was the time when he skated down Gold Mountain, a skating tour which didn’t stop before he had crashed right by the Troll pond. Frans uses his magic to create gleaming prisms of light, which he uses to dramatic effect around himself while he skates.
Kasper Kasper is Askeline’s father, and he is a peaceful troll. He is happiest when pottering around tending his garden. And when he can’t find anything else to do in his own garden, he sets to work on his neighbors’ gardens. Kasper can hear and talk to all kinds of plants and growing things. He has philosophical discussions with the old oak tree in his garden, jokes around with the begonias and speaks chivalrously with the roses, as behooves a proper gardener.
	Marlene Marlene is a lively little troll girl. She is extremely fond of the other trolls, and always gets a running start before she hurls themselves into their arms and gives them kisses which warm them all the way into their souls. Marlene is also extremely fond of magic, and runs around casting spells at every opportunity. In fact, she can borrow the ability of the troll she’s in contact with. In this way she can do magic in countless ways, but she is most fond of magic involving flowers.
Georg Georg is one of the few Longtail trolls who actually isn’t entirely honest. He pretends that he can make objects invisible, but what he really does is to magically transport objects from one place to another. Without exception, Georg magically transports everything onboard his ship, which is anchored in the Troll pond. He is quite simply a pirate troll, and with his magic he has taken plunder from trolls, elves and dwarves.
	Idar and Iselin Idar and Iselin recently celebrated their anniversary. The couple has been married for 250 years. According to old troll traditions, on this anniversary the couple should receive a wooden bath tub, a custom which is so old that no-one remembers why it is this way any more. The anniversary was celebrated for a week, and the party was so successful that all of the trolls are already excitedly looking forward to the couple’s 500th anniversary. Idar can use his magic to make himself gigantic, while Iselin is an expert in most forms of hypnosis.
Malin The troll girl Malin spreads warmth and goodness wherever she goes, and her infectious laughter echoes throughout Trollhufsa from morning till night. She is extremely fond of going into the woods to pick blueberries, something she often does together with the blueberry fairies. Her magical ability is that she can call the blueberry fairies if she needs help with something. But most of the time she runs around pretending to be a superhero and saving trolls from imagined dangers, whether they want to be rescued or not.
	Roald and Nils Roald and Nils are nearly always to be found by the Risle River. For as long as anyone can remember, they’ve had the same goal in mind, namely to sail unscathed down the river and out to sea. There are a fair number of rapids in the river, so they have ruined boats and washed up on the river bank more times than anyone can count. But now they have built a more solid Viking ship, in the hopes that this will carry them to the sea. Roald can counteract all kinds of magic, other than the magic of other Longtail trolls, while Nils has the ability to distort reflections.
Viggo Viggo is a little troll boy who is very easy for his parents to take care of. He is quiet and friendly, and like most Longtail troll children, he spends most of his time eating and sleeping. Viggo’s abilities appear when he’s asleep, because he can create half-transparent illusions from his dreams. So far, most of the illusions have taken the form of his favorite thing: troll porridge with cowberry sauce.
	Gard Gard collects animals, to his parents’ increasing despair. He is particularly fond of cats and dogs, and insists on teaching them to get along with each other. It is certainly not necessary to explain that this creates a good deal of excited miaowing, hissing, clawing and wild chasing in the tree stump where he lives together with his parents. Gard can turn himself into a wolf when he wants to, an ability he often uses when he wants to travel greater distances.

The troll pirate

By Oddrun-Helen Berntsen

In a mountain a little ways away from Moon Mountain and a bit further away from Mistvale, Georg Longtail troll sat at a long table made of stone. He was visiting the dwarves who were based in the mountain.

Georg was not your typical Longtail troll. Most Longtail trolls would generally stake their honor on being honest and upright, and there are rules about law and order which are not to be broken. As long as something doesn’t involve humans, mind you! Then all laws can be broken. Georg had a very irresponsible way of dealing with rules. In general he did as he pleased, took what he wanted and shirked anything which smelled of responsibility.

Georg was an out and out scoundrel, a proper troll pirate.

The dwarves knew nothing of this. When Georg had knocked on their mountain and requested shelter for the night, they had hospitably asked him to climb in. Now they were all sitting around the long table and eating their evening meal, munching and talking loudly. A dwarf wearing a pale yellow pointed cap drank from a huge mug, before putting some food into a cage at his side. A crow sat in the cage.

“Shiver me timbers if that isn’t a fine crow,” said Georg and smiled at the dwarf with the yellow cap. The dwarf nodded and gave the crow another bite of food.

“It’s called Gunder. And it’s really pretty clever, let me tell you. If there’s something fishy afoot in the tunnels in the mountain where we’re digging, it usually cries out to warn us that we need to get ourselves out of there,” said the dwarf. The other dwarves nodded and called out and drank to the crow’s health. The crow tilted its head to the side and gave them a mildly interested look. Georg scratched his chin thoughtfully.

“Yes, I must say that is one smart bird,” he said thoughtfully. Then he raised his glass and said:

“Let me raise a toast to my new friends! Let it not be said that dwarves are anything other than hospitable!” he said and received a chorus of jubilant cries in return from the dwarves. They’re funny that way, the dwarves; they are actually rather susceptible to flattery.

“So, tell me, friends, what are you mining for in the mountain?” said Georg using his most trustworthy expression.

“Oh, the usual. Gold, silver and precious stones,” said a dwarf with a gray-striped beard.

“I see. Just like what we trolls find in Gold Mountain,” said Georg.

“We found a new vein of gold today. Look here! This is pure gold!” said the gray-bearded dwarf, placing a big nugget of gold on the table in front of Georg. The troll was on the verge of getting hiccups from sheer eagerness.

“That is...that...indeed, that is fine gold,” he said and assumed an apparently disinterested expression. Then he smiled at the dwarves.

“You’ve heard that we Longtail trolls can do magic and that sort of thing, right?” he said. Yes, the dwarves had indeed heard that.

“Are you interested in seeing a little magic?” asked Georg. The dwarves were exultant: they liked magic, for they couldn’t do much of that sort of thing themselves.

“My magical ability is that I can make objects invisible. For example, take, well, this gold nugget,” he said and pointed at the shining golden stone. The dwarves leaned forward and watched inquisitively. The two dwarves who sat closest to Georg were thereby squished rather flat, but no-one took notice of their half-suffocated protests. In any case it wasn’t that dangerous, for dwarves are used to being squished flat by stones which loosen and fall on them without warning in their mines.

Georg made a few waving movements with his arms over the gold nugget. For safety’s sake he closed his eyes and mumbled a few strange words. It wasn’t strictly speaking necessary, but the dwarves seemed to like the dramatic gestures.

“Karoli muriath, disappear tonight!” said Georg, and *whoops* there went the gold nugget, right before their eyes. A gasp went through the hall, followed by excited calls and ooh-ing and ah-ing.

“Well, pull my beard, that was cool!” called out one of the dwarves.

“Do you want me to do it again?” asked Georg.

“Yes!” shouted the dwarves.

Georg took the cage with the crow.

“May I?” he asked, because he was a polite pirate. The dwarf nodded so eagerly that the yellow cap bobbed gaily on his head.

Soon afterwards the crow and the cage were gone without a trace. Another lively roar filled the hall.

“Make them magically reappear,” called out the dwarf who had given Georg the gold nugget. Georg smiled.

“That won’t be necessary. Both the gold and the crow will come back by themselves in few hours. They are both standing right here in front of me on the table, and when the invisibility disappears soon, you’ll see them again,” said Georg. The dwarves thought this sounded logical, and spent the next few hours trying to see the invisible objects on the table. In fact they stared so intensely at the empty table that the eyes of several of the dwarves nearly crossed in the end.

“I think I see the gold!” said the dwarf with the yellow cap.

“Where? said the dwarf with the gray-striped beard.

“There! Don’t you see? It’s shimmering and waving a bit, sort of,” said the dwarf stubbornly. The other dwarf took a new swallow of dwarf-ale, then his expression was quickly transfigured.

“Yeeees! Now I see something! Hey, Georg, your magic in disappearing. Georg? Where is he? Georg?!”

Georg whistled a lively sea chanty as he wandered across Misty Meadow. He was now on his way to Trollhufsa village, or rather Troll Pond, where his pirate ship was anchored. He loved to sail around the pond at full sail, standing at the helm and looking through his spyglass. The only disadvantage to sailing in a pond was that he had seen most things before. Many times.

He longed for the wide open sea, where the horizon was endless and foreign coasts were just waiting to be discovered and thoroughly plundered.

Now he was looking forward to getting to his ship, for a gold nugget and a crow were waiting for him there. For it was simply not true that Georg could make objects invisible. But he could, in fact, magically move an object from one place to another. And without exception he tended to magically move objects onto his ship.

When he got to his ship, as expected he found both the gold and the cage with the crow inside his cabin. He put the gold in a huge, overflowing chest which stood on the deck. Afterwards he took out a couple of small jars of paint and took the crow out of the cage.

Georg sat with the tip of his tongue peeping out of the corner of his mouth. In deep concentration, he painted the crow’s head and body green, and the downy bird-breast yellow.

“There! Now you look nice! Now we just need to teach you to talk, then you’ll be almost like a real parrot,” said Georg and looked with satisfaction at the crow which sat on the perch.

“Repeat after me: Anchors away!”

“Caw,” said the crow uncertainly. He felt silly in the new colors. The other crows would definitely tease him about it.

“No, not ‘caw’! Anchors away!” repeated Georg.

It was quiet for a moment.

“Caw?” said the crow again. Georg sighed. He realized that this was going to take some time.

Meanwhile, in Trollhufsa village the trolls were getting ready to have a party. In the middle of the square, they had set out an enormous long wooden table, exactly the same long table they used in the hall in Gold Mountain when they celebrated Christmas. Benches were placed all the way along the table so that all of the trolls could have a place to sit. Right by the well in the square stood a wooden bath tub with a huge red bow on it. This was the wooden bath tub which was to be given to Iselin and Idar during the party, for the party was in their honor. They were having their 250th troll wedding anniversary, where the custom is that you receive a really nice bath tub. The custom is so old that none of the trolls is sure any more about why the bath tub is given, but a few of the oldest trolls thought that the bath tub had something to do with renewing the purity of the marriage. Or that you needed to bathe a bit after 250 years of marriage. Even if you’re a troll, it’s nonetheless something of an achievement to stay married for such a long time, and only the elves have managed to keep up with the trolls as far as long marriages are concerned.

It should also be added that the Longtail trolls make use of all sorts of excuses for having a party, and celebrate both a yearly anniversary, a half-year anniversary, a three-quarters year anniversary, and so on. If something can be celebrated in some way, they’ll make sure to make use of it. There is after all no point in being a Longtail troll if you can’t have fun.

Large vats of wedding soup were carried into the square. It was a soup containing sweet berries and herbs, with a good dose of magic stirred in to ensure that the person who ate it fell even more in love with their loved one. Askeline put out bowls of troll whipped cream on the table, and Kasper, the gardener troll, came walking in with his wheelbarrow. He had big bundles of autumn leaves in the wheelbarrow, and he gave them to Iselin. She thanked him kindly and spread the yellow, orange and red leaves along the long table, so that the table was covered in the beautiful colors of autumn. The trolls went back and forth, chattering and laughing, and everyone was looking forward to the big party that evening.

While the party preparations were going on, Georg stood at the helm of his ship. With a rough movement he took out an unusually beautiful compass with a scroll pattern along the edge. He had tricked it out of the elves the very same day, an exchange he was particularly pleased with. He lifted the patch he had over his eye, because he couldn’t manage to see properly while he was wearing it. Both of Georg’s eyes were of course in good working order, but it looked more pirate-like to wear the patch. The pirate ship sailed around and around in Troll Pond, so in that sense he didn’t need a compass at all. He put the compass back in his vest pocket and began to sing. It was a song he had written himself, which he called “Eight men on the dead man’s chest,” and he howled so awfully that the pike in the pond was considering moving to the river. Gunder the crow sat on his shoulder, still green and yellow, and rather dissatisfied – to put it mildly – in his new role as a parrot.

Georg stopped the ship, and went down below deck. He soon came up again with a seasick fox.

“Sorry, pal, but I’m going to have to make you walk the plank,” said Georg and put the fox on the plank which stretched out over the water on the port side. The look which the fox gave Georg expressed how sick he was feeling, and had he not been feeling so unwell, the fox would have beaten Georg up thoroughly. But just then all the fox wanted was to go home to his lair, so he padded uninspired to the edge of the plank and hopped off. Georg was jubilant, clapping his hands and calling out to the fox as it swam to shore.

“Did you see that? Wasn’t that cool!? Shiver me timbers that was fun! But now, Gunder, it’s time to go to the village. They are going to have a party there, so it’s always possible there may be something or other to take back with us to the ship. We’ll plunder till we drop,” chortled Georg and patted the crow.

The party was well underway on the square in Trollhufsa. A group of trolls entertained the others from a stage which had been built for the occasion. They were performing a short play about humans. Some time ago the trolls had found a human book in the woods. With much effort they had managed to translate it into troll language, and discovered to their great joy that the book was a play meant for the theatre.

It concerned a prince who ran around holding a skull and talking about “to be or not to be.” The trolls thought this was extremely funny, decided that the play must be a comedy and performed it accordingly. So there weren’t too many trolls who noticed Georg’s arrival in the square, because the trolls were all sitting and shrieking with laughter when the prince in the play was scared witless by the ghost of his own father. Georg looked around the square with a sly smile. Then he waved his tail, so that a large portion of wedding soup disappeared and ended up in the cabin onboard his ship. Then he stole some troll whipped cream, cloudberry cakes and roasted nuts with honey. He wrinkled his nose a bit when he saw that the trolls only had dwarf ale and four-leaf clover tea. Georg would have preferred rum, but it was difficult to get that sort of thing among the trolls, so he made do with dwarf ale.

Then he noticed the fine bath tub which stood beyond the long table. It was large and round, and built of solid oak. It was the finest tub Georg had seen in his whole life. He went over to it, and as he got nearer, he saw that there was a lovely inscription along the edge. There it said “To Iselin and Idar on their 250th wedding anniversary.” Georg stole a glance around the square. Everyone appeared to be caught up in what was going on on the stage. He waved his tail once more, and the bath tub was gone in a blink. Then he went whistling over to a wooden chair and sat himself down to watch the play.

“Did you see that? Said Marlene Longtail troll to her cousin Malin. They were sitting under the party table and playing with blueberry fairies, and had seen the whole incident.

“He stole the bath tub,” said Malin, round-eyed and upset. The blueberry fairies tut-tutted and shook their heads over the theft.

“We have to do something about this,” Marlene declared decisively. The two little troll girls crept out from under the table and ran over to Olvar. He was the leader of the Council in Trollhufsa, and knew everything about laws and rules. Marlene and Malin spoke together and in such a rush that it wasn’t strictly speaking easy to understand what they were on about, but Olvar got the main point.

“No, what are you saying! Has Georg taken the bath tub?” he said loudly. Just then it was completely silent on the stage, so that all of the trolls heard what Olvar said. A large number of heads turned slowly towards Georg who sat all the way at the back of the gathering.

Georg looked back and forth at the trolls a couple of times. Then he sprang up and dashed off.

“Stop in the name of the law!” cried Malin dramatically, but Georg ran too quickly. Marlene, whose magical gift gave her the ability to do all sorts of magic, waved her tail.

“Don’t think that you can get away,” she said, and in a blink she had conjured up a big tree directly in front of Georg.

The pirate couldn’t stop in time. He ran right smack into the tree with such force that its branches and leaves shook. Malin whispered something to the blueberry fairies, and a swarm of them flew off and tied Georg to the tree with a shining rope. Since fairies aren’t very good at tying up other creatures, Georg got the rope lashed around him everywhere, including his nose. Several times, in fact.

Malin laughed so that her laughter warbled over the square, while Marlene hopped around and clapped her hands. They were extremely pleased with their efforts.

That day Georg was locked up in the jail in Trollhufsa. It had hardly ever been used before, other than the time a dwarf took large gold nuggets from Gold Mountain without letting anyone know that he had done so. That sort of thing is reckoned to be very impolite among the Longtail trolls. The jail was actually just a hole in the ground with a rather rickety grate over it, but Georg didn’t think it was very much fun to sit in there. When a couple of the trolls came to pick him up, he was rather pale.

The trolls took him to the square. It looked very different there now. A table stood in the middle of the square, where Olvar sat with his glasses on his nose, looking very strict. The other trolls sat around the square, looking curious and paying close attention. Georg and Gunder were positioned in front of the table where Olvar sat. Olvar banged on the table with a club.

“Silence! On behalf of Trollhufsa’s Council for Law and Order, I accuse you, Georg Longtail troll, of comprehensive pirate activities and breaches of paragraph 6 of the Longtail law! What do you have to say in your defense?” said Olvar authoritatively.

“I haven’t done anything wrong, you must believe me, landlubbers!” said Georg tentatively and looked pleadingly at the audience. Olvar turned towards a pair of trolls.

“Fetch exhibit A!” he said, and some trolls came in soon after bearing the bath tub.

“This was found on your ship. Did it walk there by itself?” Olvar wanted to know. The Longtail trolls chuckled. Georg snorted. Then the trolls brought forward the chest which Georg had had in his cabin.

“In this chest there are objects belonging to trolls, elves and dwarves. And reports have come from Mistvale that you have snatched one thing and another. Do you plead guilty to these thefts?” said Olvar.

“I haven’t done anything,” said Georg with his most innocent expression. The parrot, which still would have preferred to be a crow, flapped its wings a little. It made a few strange sounds, as if it were clearing its throat.

“Plunder till we drop!” crowed Gunder suddenly. A whistle went through the audience.

“Now you talk! Exclaimed Georg despairingly.

“Till-till-till we drop!” repeated the crow with satisfaction.

“The case is decided!” In accordance with paragraph 4 of the Longtail Law, this is a breach of the law concerning the use of black magic. The same paragraph stipulates that criminal trolls shall be punished with a one-week stay among humans. You are also sentenced to return everything you have taken from trolls, elves, dwarves and other creatures. Take him away, and see that the punishment is carried out, said Olvar and banged the club on the table.

“NOOOO!” called out Georg as they dragged him away. The Longtail trolls cheered. They thought that that was what you did after a court case.

One week later, Georg was allowed to go onboard his ship again. He gave the mast a kiss and fell to his knees to kiss the deck.

“Keelhaul me sideways, but it’s good to feel the sea breeze again!” said Georg and inhaled the air through his nose, eyes closed. Olvar and a few other Council members looked at each other. They thought it was quite a feat to feel the sea breeze when you are out in the middle of a windless pond. The Council had fetched Georg from the human village where he had served his sentence. Now he was a free troll again.

“Now, have you learned something from this, then?” asked Olvar.

“Oh yes. It was absolutely horrible to be on land for so long. And then among humans!” shuddered Georg. Gunder shuddered too. He was rather good at shuddering, and did it regularly. It made his feathers shiver in a neat way.

“Good! Then we are agreed that you won’t steal from trolls, elves and dwarves any more,” said Olvar and stuck out his fist. Georg took it.

“I swear on my seaman’s honor that I won’t take as much as a feather more from them,” swore Georg. The Council left the ship and Georg waved to them. When they were out of sight, he wandered into the cabin.

“Well, Gunder, we’ll cast off the anchor soon! But first, I have to check something...” he mumbled and went over to his chest. He opened it carefully. Then he beamed from ear to ear.

“You’ve never seen so much human-treasure at once, hmm? Shiver me timbers, pal, that’s quite a haul! Hoist the sails and cast off the anchor! The waves await!”

Karl and Julie

Frans

Kasper

Marlene

Georg

Idar and Iselin

Malin

Roald and Nils

Viggo

Gard